Vaccination Disputes Between Parents Who Share Custody
When the COVID-19 pandemic halted the world in 2020, we thought surely 2021 would be better. And while there have been improvements, unfortunately the phrase “Coronavirus” is still part of our every day. Almost simultaneous with the vaccination releases came the criticism and fears. And while vaccination choices are personal decisions, when parents share custody of a minor, it becomes a more contentious issue. Not every couple is on the same page on the decision to vaccinate and most certainly not every former couple is either. While the objective of parents who share custody should be that of what is best for the children, often other issues cloud their view. There’s no easy answer on vaccinations and unfortunately, parents who share custody have a lot to work through. In May of 2021, the FDA approved the Pfizer vaccine for kids ages 12 and up.
What does your custody agreement say?
Legal custody typically refers to decision-making that affects the child, regardless of how much time the child spends with one person. This legal custody covers “major decisions” like education, health and welfare. Only the parent with legal custody has the right to decide whether their minor children should be vaccinated. However, in the case of joint custody, decision-making is a shared responsibility. In the case of joint custody, neither parent has the authority to decide alone and both parents are expected to reach an agreement in the best interest of the child. With the ongoing disruptions that COVID-19 is having in our country, one could potentially argue that it is a “substantial change in circumstances” leading to potential modifications to your custody agreement.
Post-Divorce mediation
If discussions between you and your former spouse are unproductive regarding the vaccine, one potential constructive way to work through the issue is post-divorce mediation. Experienced, professional mediators may be able to work with you both to reach a constructive resolution.
Three steps to navigate the vaccination gap
Separating your feelings for your former partner from your co-parenting responsibilities will allow you to approach conversations and decisions with a more open mindset. Stay factual in your opinions. Removing all emotional language from the discussion will potentially allow you both to reach a compromise. Respect your former partner’s point of view. No one is arguing that this will be easy, but at the end of the day the most important issue is your child’s well-being. Assuming you are both on the same team, working for their good, will allow you to be levelheaded in your decision-making process.
There are no easy answers and no one size fits all decision, but having your emotions in check and relying on professionals to help you navigate these hard decisions is in the best interest of your child.